Ron Weasley and the Marvelous Muggle Date
by Bringyourownidol
Summary: Ron Weasley goes on his first date, muggle style. Ron messes up royally with hilarious, and romantic, results. Complete!
1. Painful Preparations

_Chapter 1: The Preparations_

So here's what happens when Ron is left to fend for himself on a real muggle date.

Hope you like.

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Ronald Weasley was standing in the living room of the Burrow occupied in front of the mirror, brow furrowed, and tongue poking between his teeth in a look of deep concentration that even his most difficult Hogwarts class couldn't inspire. 

It was partly due to this unusual level of concentration, as he parted his hair, that he didn't hear two voices whispering behind him, from a direction that looked suspiciously as though it came from behind a large sofa.

None other than Fred and George Weasley were hiding behind the sofa in question, each wearing their nastiest grin.

"I wonder when he will notice."

"Probably when it tries to eat his date," George answered.

They were still snickering silently when Ginny came down the stairs and spotted them. They straightened up and disappeared into the kitchen, casting one last nefarious glance in the direction of the corsage lying innocuously on the table near the door.

"If you stare at yourself any harder, Ron, I think you might sprout a few new freckles," Ginny said, laughingly,

"C'mon, Hermione has seen you before. Don't forget that. Just because you two are finally going on a date doesn't mean you need do something as drastic as changing your part."

Ron blushed and put the comb down.

"That's better. You were starting to remind me of Lockheart and I caught him trying to see his reflection in the top of a jar of marmalade!"

"Ginny, are you going to sit there helping or would you like to tell me if I look like a muggle," Ron said.

"I think so. I mean, at least you aren't wearing a flowered nightdress or something."

She paused, grinning,

"But I think you should ditch the top hat, Ron."

Ron took the ridiculous thing off of his head, he had spent all of yesterday afternoon searching for it in the attic, and mumbled something that sounded like 'Fred and George' under his breath.

"Well, you'd better hurry, mum is waiting in the kitchen to take you," Ginny said as she sat back down on the couch, looking utterly bored.

"Alright, see you later then."

Ron looked positively ill as he picked up his bouquet and corsage off of the table which he was planning on giving to Hermione.

By the time Ron had made the short walk to the kitchen, Ron had a look of terror in his eyes that paralleled that of a prisoner being led to the guillotine or the firing squad.

The latter was almost true. As he entered the kitchen he was greeted by several big flashes and large puffs as Mrs. Weasley took a least a dozen pictures of Ron walking in the room, turning sideways, glaring at Fred and George (who were sitting at the kitchen table besides themselves with laughter), and finally, one of Ron's hand as he finally managed to wrestle the camera from a teary-eyed Mrs. Weasley.

"My little Ronnie-poo. Going on his first date!" Mrs. Weasley cooed, clapping Ron into a hug that Ron was sure had ruined his newly parted hair.

"Muuuum!" Ron shouted in disgust but it was absolutely no good. Ron refused to look in the twins direction, from which issued several gurgling noises and guffaws.

"Yeah, icky-Ronnie, don't forget to give Hermione the lovely corsage your mummy has put together." Fred cooed, in a very good imitation of Mrs. Weasley.

"Oh and don't forget to treat your lady right. Be a gentleman. None of this!" George ordered severely, grabbing Fred from behind and groping the front of his shirt.

"That's enough!" Mrs. Weasley shouted, rounding on the two, only to find them mimicking kissing noises on their hands.

"Out! The both of you! I suggest you busy yourself with something soon otherwise I will do it for you. I have a whole list of chores that need to be done you know." Mrs. Weasley's threat of work managed to get the twins to disapperate into their rooms, although their laughter still echoed down the stairs.

"Ready, dear?" Mrs. Weasley said looking at her son.

"Yup," Ron said, rather dispiritedly.

He _had_ been looking forward to seeing Hermione again, not to mention being on a date with her (alone!), but he had had so much advice from

his father ("Don't forget to walk her to the door."),

and mother ("Do remember to present yourself nicely to her parents."),

from Bill ("Turn on some of the ol' Weasley charm and you'll be set."),

a large wink from Charlie,

a complete list of possible date ideas from Percy, ("The wax museum and planetarium are nice. Or, if you prefer something a little more adventurous, there always is the arboretum…"),

and even from Ginny, ("Now, Ron, I have spoken with Hermione and she is really looking forward to this so you had better not screw this up!"). Although Ginny's really was more of a threat than anything, which Ron didn't find helpful in the least.

And a whole slew of ideas and suggestions from the twins, whose advice he had long since learned to ignore, the reason for which could be illustrated by the top hat fiasco, only moments before.

With all of these things floating around in his mind, Ron latched onto his mother's arm and disapperated alongside her moments later as his body swirled and twisted about just as much as his thoughts. Ron landed on a street in a muggle neighborhood and managed to keep his footing.

"Ronnie, would you like me to co--"

"No. Please don't come in mum. Please."

"Alright. Have fun. I'll be back for you in a few hours."

Mrs. Weasley heaved a sigh and disapperated with one final look at Ron and a loud sniff.

Now Ron looked up and Down Hermione's street. It looked very nice indeed.

All the houses were white and square, with small gardens in front and pathways leading up to the-

Ron's stomach suddenly dropped. Which house was Hermione's? He had completely forgotten to check the number. She had written it down for him several times, but in all of his panic about the date he had forgotten what it was.

Standing alone in the middle of a strange muggle street holding a highly unique bouquet and a corsage when you were supposed to be on your first date really wasn't the ideal situation Ron had envisioned.

Suddenly, the only thing in the world Ron Weasley wanted was his mummy.

* * *

Okay. I hope you liked it. I have loads-- LOADS of ideas for following chappies so don't be too harsh…not just quite yet anyway! Review and I'll luv ya for always!

xxx-Bexie1217


	2. The Mysteries of Muggle Life

_Chapter 2: The Mysteries of Muggle Life_

Thanks to everyone who reviewed! It made me write faster, knowing that you were waiting to see what would happen. Ron gets into loads of trouble in this chapter ---I couldn't resist! ; )

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Ron Weasley was standing in the middle of a muggle street. He had walked down to the corner to check the street sign and had assured himself of the fact that this was Cherry Lane, the street upon which Hermione lived.

He had now returned to his previous position and was just about to think about what to do next when he was interrupted, quite unpleasantly, actually.

A car had, all this time, been speeding down the street and now stopped at a screeching halt a few centimeters from Ron's legs.

"Oy! What do you think you're doing! Get out of the road!" the driver, a large, grungy looking man, with facial hair and several tattoos screamed out of the window.

Despitehis limited experience with muggles, Ron was amazingly able to discern that this was one muggle he did not want to make mad. He stepped out of the way, and smiled embarrassedly at the angry muggle driver, "Right, well-er-sorry, then."

The man gave him a look of deep disgust mixed with a look that seemed to clearly call Ron's sanity into question and then speed off once more.

Having gotten lost and having almost gotten run over by a muggle motorist within his first few minutes in the muggle world, Ron thought it was best if he started looking for Hermione's house.

Ron was just about to walk up to the nearest house when he received another nasty shock. A lorry was coming down the street, only it was doing the strangest thing. It was playing music from out of a large speaker on its roof. It was a jingling tune that sounded familiar to Ron so he decided to see if the man in the truck could help him.

He waved at the man who seemed friendly enough and stopped good naturedly.

"Wha' can I get you young man?"

"Hermione Granger, Please." Ron said, thinking that this man and his musical truck really were a lifesaver.

"Sorry, haven't heard of those. But I can fix you up with a nice chocolate covered-."

"Er-no thanks, I am actually quite particular about having Hermione Granger," Ron said, taken aback that in the muggle world people sold girls coated in candy out of the back of lorries. He would definitely have to tell his father about this later.

"Well, if I've never 'eard of it than it can't be that good can it? Now, anything else? Not even something in the large gumball variety?" the man asked hopefully

Now Ron was incensed. He loved Hermione Granger. Who was this man to say that a girl with larger "gumballs", as the man had so crudely put it, would be better suited for him!

"Why, you—horrible—disgusting—I would not!" Ron said indignantly.

He was about to give the man, who was no longer smiling, some what for.

"Well, no need to get angry. Honestly! If there's nothing else I have to go before the girls start to melt!" the man said patting a large case behind him fondly.

Ron was horror struck and was seriously considering calling the 'pleesemen' on a public 'fellytone' until a young girl in a pink jumper raced up to the lorry and asked for a Cream Pop and a Mars Bar.

Several seconds of comprehension later, Ron understood that the lorry sold candies and ice creams- not women-as previously thought, and decided he had no gripe with the "Ice Cream Muggle" after all.

Thinking that the muggle world really was more trouble than it was worth, Ron approached the door of a nearby house and after several minutes of pondering the small button next to the door, and going as far as to shout at it fiercely, using language that his mother certainly wouldn't approve of, he found that if he pressed the little button a little bell rang.

Ron actually found the 'funny little muggle knob' very amusing and, by the tenth or eleventh time that he had pressed it, was hanging onto a trellis for support.

_Now, if only I knew what it did?_

Ron scrutinized the knob and was bending over and glaring at eye level, with an amused grin on his face when the door opened.

"What on earth!" the woman cried.

"Why did you ring so many times?"

"Er-so you heard it too? Whew-well, that _is_ a relief," Ron said, happy that he wasn't imagining ringing buttons right before his date.

The woman gave Ron a curious look.

"I don't want to buy anything!" she said.

"Er-that's good, I guess, neither do I," Ron said, thinking that this muggle was rather peculiar.

"So please leave." And with that Ron had the door slammed on his face and was left standing on the front step.

The woman was now glaring at him through a tiny curtained window in the door and Ron thought it was best if he found another muggle to ask as this one didn't take kindly to having her little button pushed and was discussing the most random things such as shopping.

Three houses and a whopping 213 ringing button pushes later Ron had his third door slammed in his face. By the fourth house he prided himself on the fact that he had mastered the muggle button. This time it only took five rings to bring someone to the door.

It was the young girl who had bought ice cream from the Ice Cream Muggle earlier and she stood in the doorway glaring at him.

"Er- hello-is your mummy or daddy home?" Ron began.

"Maybe. Who are you and why are you carrying onions?"

Ron looked appraisingly at his bouquet.

"Why? Aren't they nice? I heard muggles—oops I mean people-"

"What did you just say?" the girl piped up.

Ron didn't answer; he realized he shouldn't have said 'muggle' in front of the little girl.

"Well- it must be a very bad word because I have two older brothers and I have never even heard them use it!"

"No-no-it's not really-it's just a term--" Ron bent over towards the girl and smiled at her with his head level with hers.

"I don't like you." She narrowed her eyes behind her glasses

"I'm going to tell Mummy that you said a bad word. She will be very cross with you and will probably ground you like she did my brothers."

Ron had no idea what this "grounding" thing was but didn't like the sound of it at all.

"No, please don't do th-----"

But it was too late,

"MUUUUUUUUUUUUUUMMMMMMMMMMMMMYYYYYYYYYYYY! There's a boy at the door carrying onions and he has just used a dirty woooord!"

Ron didn't wait around to see if her mum was coming. Gryffindor or not, he ran. When the little girl's house was out of sight and he no longer heard her screams, Ron stopped to lean against the side of a house in order to catch his breath, clutching his ribs.

He was hot, his bouquet for Hermione was beginning to smell, and he doubted very much that any vestige of his part remained.

Fortunately the muggle postman arrived at that moment and dropped several envelopes on the mat of the house against which Ron was leaning.Having once watched his parents send a letter by muggle post to Harry, Ron knew that the address would be on the envelope.

Checking to make sure that the muggle postman was out of sight, Ron crept up to the doormat and was just picking up the top envelope when the door in front of him opened and their was a sudden sharp intake of breath.

* * *

Okay- so sorry but there were just so many ways that Ron could get into trouble in a muggle neighborhood. Next chapter Ron actually sees Hermione okay? I promise! Just trust me and keep reading (and reviewing)!

xxx-Bexie1217


	3. Success! Sort of

_Chapter 3: Success! (Sort of)_

Yay! The date actually begins! Enjoy!

* * *

Ron was afraid to look up.

He wasn't quite sure but he strongly suspected that muggles didn't take kindly to having their mail pilfered. He was considering running for it once again when the sound of his own name caused him to look up.

"Ron!" Hermione exclaimed.

"I'm so glad you found the house okay. I was getting worried that you didn't understand my directions!"

Ron looked up to see Hermione. She looked absolutely lovely. Her hair was as bushy as ever, and was pulled back in front with a clip. She was slightly tanner than usual from her recent trip, but otherwise looked just as he remembered. Her bright brown eyes beamed at him and he thought she had never looked more beautiful.

He smiled.

Ron thought it was rather a shame that Hermione had found him like this as he would have preferred to ring her muggle knob (A/N: no innuendo intended, although by all means, go ahead, Ron, you could ring my muggle knob anytime!) as he had had so much practice that he had gotten quite good at it.

"Er-Hi Hermione. It's-um-it's great to see you," Ron decided that it would be best if he didn't mention his near-death experience with the angry motorist, the fiasco with the ice cream muggle, the young girl yelling for her mother because he had said a dirty word, and almost stealing her mail.

"Oh, you were getting our mail. Thanks, Ron, You didn't have to do that."

He handed her the post and saw her looking expectantly from him to the bouquet in his hand. He finally got the hint.

"Oh-er-these are for you."

'They're lovel---oh--" Hermione stopped short. "Are these…onions!"

"Oh, um, yeah, Fred and George told me it was some sort of muggle tradition."

"Oh," Hermione said, not yet taking the bouquet that Ron had extended to her.

"Oh, Ron!" and before Ron knew what was happening Hermione had wrapped herself around him in a giant hug. It felt wonderful, drinking in the smell of her hair and feeling her soft, warm body pressed up against his firmer one.

When they broke apart Ron was aghast to see Hermione was crying.

"Hermione! What's wrong? Are these wrong?" Ron said, looking at her with concern.

"No, no, I'm fine," Hermione insisted as she accepted the highly unusual bouquet from Ron and invited him inside.

"It's just that when we hugged the bouquet was in my face."

Ron's cheeks turned red but Hermione just smiled at him from behind her tears.

"Ron, that was so sweet of you."

"Er-yeah." Ron said, cheering up, but making a mental note not to ever bring a bouquet again. It made girls act all funny.

"So this is my house," Hermione stated, bringing Ron out of the foyer and into the living room.

Ron immediately saw that it was extremely neat, and very white.

And very much unlike anythinghe had ever seen before.

Hermione took Ron's hand and lead him towards the back of the house and into the kitchen.

"Mum, Dad, this is my-er-my boyfriend Ron," Hermione said

Ron smiled weakly; he was feeling all out of sorts. Hermione was holding his hand loosely in her own and he thought that she had just referred to him as her boyfriend.

Ron remembered just in time to shake hands with Mr. Granger and to compliment Mrs. Granger on her fine home.

"And you brought a bouquet! How lovely," Mrs. Granger said, eyeing the bundle in Hermione's hand.

"Oh, uh-mum…" Hermione began

"Are those onions?" Mr. Granger asked peering over his reading glasses to get a better look.

Ron opened his mouth to speak but Hermione began before he had the chance.

"Um-well, yes they are actually," she said matter of factly.

"Well, why don't I, er, take those and put them in a vase, shall I?" Mrs. Granger said, having caught a sharp look of warning from her daughter.

They stood in the kitchen talking for several minutes before Hermione offered to show Ron the rest of the house.

Extremely relived, Ron was directed out of the room by Hermione.

"What a nice young man," Mrs. Granger said, just as soon as the two were out of earshot

"Nice healthy teeth."

"Perhaps," Mr. Granger reflected, "slightly misinformed though," as he stared at the vase in the middle of the dining room table that now housed Ron's onion bouquet.

Ron was lead through the other room's of the modest Granger household but didn't listen to very much of what Hermione was saying as she was holding onto his hand again, and he found that this action was accompanied by a sudden lack of intelligent thought on his part.

He only just remembered to nod and say "Uh-huh," a bunch of times as Hermione showed him pictures (not moving) of their recent vacation and it took Ron a second to realize that he was being led upstairs.

"And this is my room," Hermione said, opening a door at the end of the hallway (white).

Ron suddenly snapped back to attention as she had let go of his hand to open the doorknob.

"What do think?"

Ron saw that Hermione's room was extremely neat. It was white like the rest of the house and had bookshelves along one wall housing all of Hermione's spell books and many others as well.

His eyes traveled all around the room and finally rested on the bed, which was made up with light blue jersey sheets.

"I think it's the neatest place I've ever seen," he said.

Hermione beamed.

"Well, dad offered to drive us to town so we should really go now."

"You mean we can't floo there or something?"

"Of course not, Ron. Most muggle restaurants don't even have fireplaces, and I don't think that muggle chefs would take kindly to the two of us suddenly appearing on their stovetop."

"Oh, right" Ron couldn't really imagine what a muggle restaurant looked like.

He was slightly reluctant to leave Hermione's room as it smelled so…so like her…like fresh sheets and shampoo.

The way out of the Granger's home was one white blur until they got into the Granger's car. The car-ride to the center of town was uneventful except for Ron shouting and pointing at the strangest things.

He stared at a petrol station, pointed and shouted, "Did you see that!" loudly into Hermione's ear as they passed a parking meter, and finally, laughed himself silly at the sight of a traffic light, asking if they had bewitched the light to do that, or something.

Truthfully, Hermione was quite glad to get out of the car, by the end of the ride. Ron had just made them drive extra slowly past a police car so that he could get a good look.

"C'mon, Ron," she said, exasperatedly, as Ron was struggling with his seatbelt which felt to him as though it would rather kill him than release from its catch.

She finally took pity on him and unbuckled the thing and it snapped duly back into its slot looking as innocent as ever. Ron was still rubbing his neck and throwing the seatbelt a dirty glance as they waved goodbye to a concerned-looking Mr. Granger and walked towards a restaurant.

And that is where Ron's troubles really began.

* * *

Okay, so now comes the really good part. Oh, for any R/Hr shippers, you might like my other fic. It's a one shot called "I Never!" aaand…well…Let's just say stuff happens. ; )

Please review as always and tell me what you liked (or what you didn't!)

xxx-Bexie1217


	4. The Flavor of Luuuuuuuuuuuurve!

_Chapter 4: The flavor of Luuuuuuuuuuuurve_

More dating disasters of our favorite wizard and witch. Will Ron and Hermione have a good time on their date? Provided, of course, that she lives through it!

* * *

The restaurant was in and of itself a marvel. Ron had never seen anything so funny. There were muggles everywhere of course. Some speaking on the fellytone, some actually _carrying_ trays to tables, and others washing plates with funny colored squares that Hermione informed him were "sponges". 

They had only just been seated by a waitress, who was very pretty and who Ron had ignored, to Hermione's great delight, when Ron remembered the corsage that he had brought for Hermione.

He handed her the package,

"Hermione, I forgot to give you this."

Hermione opened the package to find a beautiful corsage comprised of pink and white flowers lying inside.

"It's a corsage. My mum made it; she said that muggles brought these on dates."

Ron said corsage so that it rhymed with "age"

"Oh, Ron, it's so beautiful! It's actually pronounced 'cors-ah-ge', though; it's from the Old French,"

Hermione said unblushingly, as she allowed Ron to tie it around her wrist.

He took his time, feeling the warmth of her pale wrist beneath his fingers.

"Cors-ahh-ge," Ron said, raising his eyebrow.

"You're a nightmare, honestly."

Both were strongly reminded of the time in their first year when Hermione had taught Ron how to say 'Wing-gar-dium Levi-o-sa' correctly, to his great annoyance.

"Oh. Ron!" Hermione said, in a sudden rush of emotion as she stood up and kissed him on the cheek.

Ron was stunned, and extremely red. He smiled stupidly and vaguely touched the spot on his cheek where Hermione's lips had touched, thinking that, while he would never bring Hermione a bouquet again, he certainly would insult her some more as that seemed to yield good results.

The next few minutes passed silently between them, as they scanned their menus and Ron dropped his fork loudly on the ground, banged his head as he leaned over to pick it up, and dropped it once more as he reached to rub the sore spot on his head, all in rapid succession.

Once the waitress, cracking her gum loudly and throwing interested glances at Ron, took their orders and their menus, Ron sighed inwardly. So far this dating thing had sounded harder than it actually was. I mean, he and Hermione had known each other so long, and he liked her so much. It was easy to talk to her; he'd been doing it for almost seven years now.

That's when he noticed a tendril creeping up Hermione's arm and into her sleeve. Hermione, who had just been giving Ron a detailed account of her trip to Spain didn't notice any such thing.

Ron watched, horrorstruck, as he saw the tendrils, which were rapidly sprouting from the 'cors-ah-ge' on Hermione's wrist crept up to the collar of her shirt from the inside.

Without thinking Ron, god bless him, did the first thing that came to mind and reached over the table and grabbed the hem of Hermione's shirt collar.

She screamed and swatted his hand away.

"Ron Weasley! What on earth do you think you are doing!"

Ron was thunderstruck. It only just registered to him what his _rescue_ attempt might be misconstrued as.

"Hermione, no…you don't understand," Ron stammered, the older couple sitting next to them were glaring at Ron and muttering darkly to each other, and two boys ordering food from the counter whistled and laughed.

So this dating thing _was_ hard.

"Hermione, quick, look down…" Ron said, sad that he couldn't be more articulate.

Hermione looked down to find her corsage slowly wrapping itself around her from underneath her shirt.

"Ahhh…" she said, making a beeline for the bathroom.

Ron ran to the door and was about to enter before he realized that that probably wouldn't help the situation. He spent his time outside the ladies room of the muggle restaurant silently berating himself and mentally beating Fred and George, who he was sure were behind the whole near-fatal flower arrangement thing, up.

A few minutes later, although it felt much longer to Ron, who was pacing back and forth in front of the door worrying about whether or not Hermione had managed to get rid of the strangling sprays, Hermione exited the bathroom. She looked slightly pale and was still unconsciously holding onto her neck, but otherwise looked as though she had managed to survive yet another one of Fred and George's jokes.

"Hermione, I am so, _so_ sorry. Fred. George. Will. _Kill_. Them. I mean, I will literally throttle, and punch, and kick…" at this point at an utter loss for words Ron started punching the air violently in a display that would, if anything, hurt himself or any poor person who came within range.

"Ron, Ron, Ron!" Hermione, finally screamed, grabbing hold of one of his arms, the other which was in the middle of an impressive uppercut dropped to his side. Ron looked absolutely miserable.

"It's okay. It's not your fault, really," she said soothingly, taking Ron's arm and leading him back to their table where their food was now sitting. A few minutes later the whole incident had been forgotten, by them, but not the older muggle couple, who was still throwing dirty looks in Ron's direction. Ron suddenly fell silent and looked at Hermione curiously.

"So, uh-how did you get rid of it?"

"The hornet?" Hermione asked. She had just been telling a story about a garden party.

"No. The cors-ahhhh-ge," enunciating it to its fullest extent.

"Oh, that," Hermione said, dabbing her lips with her napkin and suddenly looking slightly guilty.

"Well, once I managed to get it off…I …er…flushed it down one of the toilettes."

"I certainly hope it can't swim or it'll be a nasty shock for the next person who goes in there," Ron said.

By dessert time, Ron was thoroughly enjoying himself. His bread pudding had just arrived when the older woman sitting near them got up suddenly and hit Ron (rather hard) with her large (and very heavy) purse as she swung it onto her shoulder.

Ron wasn't quite sure that it was an accident. Actually, he was almost sure that it wasn't as the woman said, "Shame on you, young man! Taking advantage of such a lovely young lady," before shuffling off mumbling about young whippersnappers and young men not being the same now-a-days.

Once Ron had gotten over the shock of finding half of his face covered in bread pudding, the blow from the purse had submerged him in his dessert, he became irritated.

"You'd have to be pretty thick to confuse an attempt to save someone's life with…well...with…er…anything else!" he said rather loudly to the only person who would listen, and was interested: Hermione.

He looked at her to see if she would agree but found her staring dreamily at him. It was at this point that he remembered that he was covered with pudding and made an attempt to right the situation with his napkin.

She reached across the table and wiped some of the bread pudding off of his face, right near his upper lip and licked her finger, bright spots appearing on her cheeks.

"Mmmm…" she said, "Ron flavored bread pudding, delicious."

"Oh, really?" he said slyly, "Well, I bet Ron Weasley Bread Pudding doesn't taste half as good as Hermione Granger Key Lime Pie,"

Ron said slyly as he took his finger and swiped it across the whipped cream on Hermione's cake and made for her nose. She saw what he was going to do but wasn't nearly fast enough.

Soon Hermione was sitting contentedly with Ron Weasley, eating her Key Lime Pie with a dollop of whipped cream perched precariously on the tip of her adorable nose.

Finally, everything looked like it was going to work out. Ron couldn't help priding himself. Had he, Ron Weasley, not just been called "delicious" by Hermione Granger! He had managed to avoid several major catastrophes. He had met a few hurdles, admittedly so, but he was, in essence, a lady's man.

The ol' Weasley charm indeed!

Oh, if only it could last.

* * *

Alright! There you have it, ladies and gents; the cutest couple ever! Tell me you thought so too. Oh please, do! 

(By the way, for any lads interested, Bexie1217Sherbert is quite good!)

xxx-Bexie1217


	5. Success! Finally!

_Chapter 5: Success (Finally!)_

So, I admit it, I gave Ron a bit of a break in this chapter…but I mean after all the things the poor guy has been through doesn't he deserve it? Besides, I always have been a sucker for happy endings…

* * *

Ron was just leaving their waitress a tip when a scream issued from the ladies toilettes. He had just been priding himself on paying with muggle money (correctly!) and hopefully impressing Hermione. Hermione was in fact, extremely impressed. What she didn't know was that Ron had sent a desperate plea to Harry the previous week asking him to explain those "silly muggle bills". 

"Er—do you suppose the corsage got her?"

Ron asked Hermione worriedly. The corsage was, after all, one of Fred and George's creations. _Yup_, Ron thought angrily, _trust Fred and George to make a corsage that paddles about a toilette or lurks somewhere near the sinks waiting for its next victim._

Assuming the worst, Hermione headed towards the loos while Ron decided it would be best to wait by the door in case they had to make a run for it-er-a quick exit.

Hermione came outside ten minutes later, breathless but triumphant.

"This time I tied its tentacles around itself before I flushed it!" she said proudly

"Will. Kill. Completely Destr--"

"Yes, I know, Ron," Hermione said matter of factly as Ron began on the now familiar vein.

"Thankfully the girl it pounced onto wasn't too-er-clever. I told her it was a-uh- sewer guppy and I think she believed me."

"Wow! That is impressive Hermione! Perhaps your best achievement to date!"

Ron said, calming down enough to lightly ruffle Hermione's hair.

"Ron! Don't anger the beast!" she said playfully, pulling his hand from her curls.

That's when they heard a loud "OH. MY. GOD." resound behind them.

Ron didn't know what hit them. In hindsight he thought he had seen curses hit faster than that. A pack (a pack!) of screaming blurs were surrounding them. The blurs turned out to be a group of girls around their age who apparently knew Hermione.

Ron could have sworn he heard Hermione whisper "oh no!" under her breath.

"Hermione!" said one, who Ron assumed to be their leader,

"We haven't seen you for _ages_!"

"Yeah, what are you doing?" a rather heavyset girl with a cigarette in her hand said, eyes narrowing slightly in a way that made Ron extremely uncomfortable.

"And who is _this_?" said another girl with an ugly turned up noise and thin mousey hair, indicating Ron with a lift of her chin.

"Hi- er- I haven't seen you since primary school!"

"Well that's because you hardly ever come into town, and the rest of the time your away at school!" one of the girls, who Ron hadn't noticed before, said.

"Where is it you go?" said another

"To-a- uh- international school up north."

Well, Ron thought, it wasn't a complete lie.

"Really? So I guess now that you go to some fancy school and have a boyfriend you're better than us."

"No, Emily, you know that's not true."

"Of course it's not! Look at you! I bet no one in your class even likes you!"

Hermione stammered a bit and lowered her eyes, looking a bit put out.

Suddenly the group seemed to have shifted their attention to Ron.

"So is Hermione really popular at school?"

"Has she had a lot of boyfriends?"

"Did she pay you to go out with her?"

"Yeah, how did someone like _her_ ever snag someone like you?"

It occurred to Ron that the time had come to lie spectacularly, or in the very least, alter a few facts.

"Oh, Hermione is actually _really_ popular in our school. She's had _loads_ of boyfriends. I couldn't believe my luck when she said yes. Her last boyfriend was an international athlete but I can't exactly tell you his name because it was all really hush-hush…I mean, think if the newspapers ever found out!

"Oh my god, the paparazzi!"

"Er.." Ron had no clue what a 'papa-ratzi' was, but he was saved the trouble of responding when Hermione cut in.

"Yes, there was a close call actually," Hermione said, winking at Ron, and taking up where he left off, "Yeah, this undercover reporter heard him telling me some very _private_ things and she threatened to go to press with it but we were able to blackmail her into keeping quiet."

"I don't believe a single word of this! I thank you are both lying," said the herd's leader.

"I would never!" said Ron, pretending to be aghast

"There's no way any of that could have happened to _Hermione_." said the girl with the ugly pug nose.

Something about the way she had said Hermione's name, like it was a tropical disease or a type of toe fungus, made Ron extremely angry.

Hermione saw the tips of Ron's ears turn red and knew it was a dangerous sign.

"Er-Ron, perhaps we shou--"

Ron never gave her the chance to finish.

"Well I'll tell _you_ something! I bet that Hermione is better than all of you put together. She's beautiful, intelligent, witty, and, besides, she's a wi--"

"Ron!" Hermione screamed suddenly, stopping Ron from going too far,

"Wonderful person!" Ron finished

The girl with the upturned nose had her eyes opened with shock and the heavyset girl had her mouth hanging so far open that her cigarette fell right out without her even noticing.

"Thanks, Ron; I really think we should leave." Hermione said, barely able to suppress a smile

Ron allowed himself to be steered away from the group of gaping girls.

"And what's more," he said, turning around briefly to look at the astonished girls, "I don't think her company befits the likes of you. For one thing, you probably wouldn't understand a word she says!"

"Wow! Ron, I mean, thank you…that was fantastic. Those girls have always bothered me since primary school, and you really shut them up!" Hermione said, giving Ron's hand a squeeze as they walked further down the street.

Ron was still amazed and couldn't quite manage to speak.

After a few minutes, Hermione became concerned,

"Ron? Are you okay?"

Suddenly Ron snapped out of it.

"Sorry, I just never thought I'd meet the female versions of Crabbe and Goyle."

That gave them both quite a laugh and after a few seconds Hermione looked at Ron, the laughter still in her eyes.

"Hey, Ron, my parents went out for dinner as well. We could take a taxi back to my house if you'd like."

"Yeah. Definitely."

Having survived an unprecedented interrogative attack by teenage muggle girls Ron was just as ready as Hermione to get out of town and back to the relative safety of the Granger home.

Ron behaved himself expertly in the taxicab ride. Aside from clapping when a taxi stopped at the sight of Hermione's outstretched hand and smiling stupidly throughout the entire ride, it seemed he had mastered his astonishment at muggle life. Hermione showed him how to buckle his seat belt just as the taxi went over a bump in the road and she fell against his chest.

"Ooops. Sorry, Ron."

But neither of them, in their own private way, were the least bit sorry it had happened.

When they arrived back on the Granger's street, Hermione and Ron entered the house (without having to search for it this time!) and they went straight to Hermione's room. He took in her familiar scent as they entered and spent a bit more time looking around at Hermione's photo frames and the titles of some of the books on her bookshelves.

Ron was just fiddling with a funny contraption called a 'bright bulb', or something like that, when he turned around to find Hermione standing behind him. Holding up the glass bulb, he said,

"Hermione this runs off of ekeltr--"

She never gave him the chance to finish. Hermione had kissed Ron full on the lips. She pulled back and said,

"Forget about the light bulb, Ron."

He didn't need telling twice. There was the tinkle of broken glass and then Ron's hands were resting on Hermione's waist. They leaned forward again. This time Hermione deepened the kiss a bit. Ron stepped forward and…

"Ouch! Ron!

"Oh, sorry, have I-uh-done something wrong?"

Ron's mind was going crazy. He was a horrible kisser. Hermione would never speak to him again and-

"That's my foot."

"Oh," Ron had the insane urge to laugh, in his eagerness to respond to Hermione's kiss he had trod on her foot. He wasn't a bad kisser- he was just a clumsy oaf. Thank the lord!

"Right, sorry."

"That's okay." Hermione whispered, their faces were just inches apart and it seemed that there was no one in the world besides them…

Except-

"RONALD WEAAAAAAAAAAAASLEEEEEEEEY!"

They ran to the window to see Mrs. Weasley standing in the street shouting at the top of her formidable lungs.

"Coming, Mum!" Ron yelled from the second story of the Granger's home, before, running down the stairs and out the door, with Hermione at his side. They met Mrs. Weasley in the Granger's drive.

"Ronnie," Ron winced and Hermione tried her best not to smile,

"You gave me the greatest shock. I didn't know which house you had gone into."

"Well, here I am now mum." Ron said a bit gloomily, he wished his date with Hermione didn't have to end. They had had so much fun- for the most part, I mean, all attacking corsages and strange muggle girls aside.

"Bye, Hermione," Ron said.

"Say hello from me to your parents, dear." Mrs. Weasley said, with misty eyes,

"I do hope you two had a good time."

At this point they _both_ received large hugs from her before they had to say goodbye.

"I'll owl you as soon as possible, Hermione."

"I had a wonderful time, Ron."

Hermione said, raising herself onto her toes to give him a quick kiss on the cheek.

Ron smiled, and with another loud sniff from Mrs. Weasley, Cherry Lane disintegrated and Ron found himself back in the kitchen of the Burrow. Mrs. Weasley disappeared almost immediately, presumable to cry in some hidden corner of the house while cleaning something.

Ron sat down at the kitchen table and stared off into space for several minutes, reliving the night, in its entirety. He still had a stupid smile on his face when he suddenly remembered something.

"Fred! George!" he bellowed, standing up, "Get down here this instant!"

Yes, he had had a wonderful time with Hermione.

But for the moment, Ronald Weasley could havebeen found, in the Burrow, on the outskirts of the village of Ottery St. Catchpole, chasing his older brothers around and threatening them bodily harm if he ever didcatch them. He reallywas a charming young man.

* * *

Another chapter, as promised! I hoped you like the conclusion of my little fic. _Now_ it's finished, hogwartsgirl52, ; ) Thanks to all of the people who reviewed for every chapter, it was great to have some feedback. 

xxx-Bexie1217


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